I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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