I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Randomize
