Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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