this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
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