Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Randomize
