i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
