Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
