??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
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