I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
