I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
Randomize
