Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
