Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
