i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
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