A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
