I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize
