STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
