Just mADE A PArabola og urine
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Randomize
