"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
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