If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
