In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I have feelings that need drinking.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
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