He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
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