I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
