I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Randomize
