I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Please don't give away my fajitas
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
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