They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Randomize
