But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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