I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Randomize
