Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize