All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
Randomize
