So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize
