you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
