he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize