so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
tell me about the fingering
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