Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
