you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
