and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
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