I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
