I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
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