Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize
