if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Randomize
