My hand turned me down
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
