So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Randomize
