Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I FOUND THE LEGS
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Randomize
