Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Randomize
