when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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