You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
this will be a night to untag.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Randomize
