We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
