i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
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