He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
