Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Randomize
