The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
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