So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Randomize
