Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize