I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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