I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
I have surprise drugs for everyone
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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