It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Randomize
