You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
