I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
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