Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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