Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
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