stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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