last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
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