we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Randomize
