I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize