So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
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