The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
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