And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
