woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
