It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
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