His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
