you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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