Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Randomize
