come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
