he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
cat food counts as protein by the way
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I am one with the molecules
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Randomize