A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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