I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Randomize
