What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Randomize
